You’re trying to lead like that charismatic VP who commands every room. Or maybe you’re copying your previous boss’s analytical approach. But it feels forced. You’re performing a version of leadership that doesn’t fit who you actually are. Your team can tell something’s off, and you’re exhausted pretending to be someone else.
Here’s the truth: there’s no one right way to lead. The most effective leaders aren’t trying to be someone else—they’ve figured out how to lead authentically, leveraging their natural strengths rather than forcing themselves into someone else’s mold. Here’s how to find your own leadership style.
Start With Your Natural Strengths
What comes easily to you? Are you naturally organized? Great at building relationships? Good at seeing big picture? Strategic? Detail-oriented? Empathetic? Data-driven? Your leadership style should build on what you’re already good at, not force you to become someone you’re not. Introverts don’t need to become extroverts to lead effectively—they just lead differently.
Identify Your Values
What matters most to you at work? Transparency? Results? Innovation? People development? Fairness? Efficiency? Your leadership style should reflect your values. If you value direct communication, don’t adopt a passive communication style because your boss does. Your values guide decision-making and set team culture—make sure they’re actually yours.
Learn From Others, Don’t Copy Them
Observe leaders you admire. Notice what works about their approach. Then adapt it to fit you. If someone’s great at giving feedback but uses humor and you’re not naturally funny, take the directness but deliver it in your own way. Extract principles, not tactics. What works for an extroverted leader might fail completely for an introvert—and that’s fine.
Pay Attention to What Energizes You
Which leadership tasks give you energy versus drain it? Love one-on-ones but dread group presentations? Prefer strategic planning to daily operations? Your style should lean into what energizes you and delegate or systematize what drains you. Sustainable leadership requires working with your natural rhythms, not against them.
Get Feedback From Your Team
Ask how your team experiences your leadership. What’s working? What’s not? Their perspective shows you blind spots. Maybe you think you’re being empowering but they feel abandoned. Or you think you’re being supportive but they feel micromanaged. Regular feedback helps you calibrate between your intention and their experience.
Adapt to Your Team’s Needs
Your style shouldn’t be rigid. Experienced team members need different leadership than new hires. Crisis situations require different approaches than steady-state work. Authentic leadership means being yourself while adapting to what the situation requires. It’s not about having one fixed approach—it’s about flexibility within your core values.
Accept That You Won’t Please Everyone
Some people will prefer different leadership styles. That’s okay. You can’t contort yourself to match everyone’s preferences. Be consistent in your approach, fair in your treatment, and clear in your expectations. People can work with leaders whose style differs from their preference—they struggle with leaders who are inconsistent or inauthentic.
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Developing your leadership style is ongoing. It evolves as you gain experience, work with different teams, and face new challenges. The foundation stays constant—your values, strengths, and authentic self. The application adapts based on context and learning. Stop trying to be the leader you think you should be. Figure out what kind of leader you actually are, then get better at that.
And if you’re building your leadership approach while managing other aspects of your career, check out our work and career guidance for more strategies.
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