You know networking matters. But the thought of sending LinkedIn messages to strangers makes you cringe. You don’t want to be that person—asking for favors from people you’ve never met, pretending connection where none exists. So you don’t network at all, and opportunities pass you by.
Here’s the truth: effective networking isn’t about manipulation or transactional relationships. It’s about genuine connection and mutual value. Here’s how to do it authentically.
Optimizing Your Profile First
Before reaching out to anyone, make sure your profile represents you well. When people check you out—and they will—what will they find?
Professional photo:
Not a party selfie, not a 10-year-old picture. Current, professional, smiling. Profiles with photos get 21x more views. Your photo is worth the investment—hire a photographer or use a good smartphone camera with natural lighting.
Compelling headline:
Not just your job title. Tell people what you do and for whom. “Marketing Manager at TechCorp” is boring. “Helping B2B SaaS companies grow through data-driven content strategies” is memorable.
About section with personality:
Write in first person. Share your story. What drives you? What problems do you solve? How did you get here? Make it human. LinkedIn is professional, but that doesn’t mean robotic.
The Give-First Approach
Stop thinking about what you can get from your network. Think about what you can give:
Share valuable content:
Post or share articles, insights, or resources your network would find useful. Add your perspective—don’t just share links. “This article on remote team management resonated with me, especially the point about…” This positions you as thoughtful and helpful.
Comment meaningfully:
Engage with others’ posts. Not “great post!” but substantive comments that add to the conversation. This gets you noticed organically without feeling pushy.
Make introductions:
When you know two people who should connect, introduce them. No ask for yourself—just facilitate a valuable connection. People remember who helped them, and they reciprocate.
How to Reach Out to Strangers
When you want to connect with someone you don’t know, do it thoughtfully:
Find common ground:
Shared alma mater, industry, interest, or connection. This gives you a legitimate reason to reach out that’s not just “I want something from you.”
The connection request template:
“Hi [Name], I came across your profile while researching [topic/company/industry]. I noticed we both [shared connection/experience]. I’d love to connect and learn more about your work in [specific area]. No agenda—just interested in expanding my network with people doing interesting things in [field].”
Keep it short, specific, and genuine. Personalization matters—they know when you’re copy-pasting generic messages.
The Informational Interview
When you want to learn about someone’s career path, company, or industry:
Make the ask clear and limited:
“I’m exploring a transition into [field] and would value your perspective. Would you have 15-20 minutes for a quick call? I have specific questions about [topic], and I promise to respect your time.”
Come prepared:
Research them beforehand. Prepare 5-7 questions. Send your questions in advance so they can prepare. This shows respect for their time and increases the likelihood they’ll say yes.
Follow up appropriately:
Send a thank you message within 24 hours. If they provided an introduction or resource, update them on the outcome. Stay in touch without being needy—check in every few months with something of value.
Building Relationships Over Transactions
The people with the strongest networks don’t treat connections as transactions. They build actual relationships:
Remember details:
Take notes after conversations. “Working on product launch in Q2, daughter graduating college, interested in AI applications.” These details let you follow up meaningfully: “How did the product launch go?” People appreciate being remembered.
Stay in touch consistently:
Don’t only reach out when you need something. Comment on their posts. Send relevant articles. Congratulate them on milestones. Maintain the relationship so when you do need something, it’s not out of nowhere.
Offer help without being asked:
See someone in your network job searching? Make an introduction. Notice someone’s company hiring for a role you can’t refer? Share it anyway. Build goodwill for its own sake—it comes back around.
When You Actually Need Something
If you’ve been giving value consistently, asking for help feels natural, not extractive:
Be specific and direct:
“I’m actively looking for project management roles in tech. I saw [Company] is hiring for a PM position. Do you know anyone there who might be willing to chat, or would you be comfortable making an introduction?”
Make it easy to help you:
Provide your updated resume. Give them specific talking points about your qualifications. Draft the intro email they can forward. The easier you make it, the more likely they’ll follow through.
Accept no gracefully:
Not everyone can help every time. If someone says no or doesn’t respond, don’t take it personally. Thank them for considering it and move on. The relationship is more important than any single ask.
The Bottom Line
Networking doesn’t have to feel manipulative. When you approach it as relationship-building rather than transaction-making, it stops feeling gross and starts feeling human.
The most valuable professional relationships develop slowly. You give value, they give value, trust builds, and eventually you have a network of people who genuinely want to help you succeed because you’ve helped them.
Start today. Reach out to one person you admire. Comment thoughtfully on three posts. Share something valuable with your network. Small, consistent actions build a professional network that actually matters.
