“You’re doing great work, but you need to develop more executive presence.”
You’ve just been told you’re not getting promoted, but the feedback is so vague it’s useless.
What is executive presence? No one can define it precisely. But everyone agrees you need it to advance.
Here’s the truth: “executive presence” is often code for “I can’t articulate why I don’t see you as a leader, so I’m using this vague term instead.”
And while the feedback is vague, what decision-makers actually notice is specific. Let’s talk about what they’re really seeing—and what you can actually change.
What “Executive Presence” Usually Means (And Why It’s Problematic)
Executive presence has become a catch-all term for “seems like a leader.” But when you dig into what people mean, it often boils down to:
- Speaks confidently (but not too confidently if you’re a woman)
- Looks the part (subjective and often biased)
- Commands attention in meetings (rewards extroverts, penalizes thoughtful processors)
- Has gravitas (meaningless without definition)
- Dresses appropriately (code for conforming to traditional corporate aesthetics)
Notice the problem? These criteria are:
- Subjective and culturally biased
- Often based on stereotypes of what leaders “look like”
- Difficult to develop because they’re poorly defined
- Frequently used to justify keeping certain people out of leadership
When someone says “you lack executive presence,” they’re often really saying:
- “You don’t look/sound like the leaders I’m used to”
- “You’re not performing confidence in the way I expect”
- “You don’t fit my mental model of what a leader is”
This is especially true for women and people of color, who are more likely to be told they lack executive presence even when they demonstrate identical behaviors to their promoted peers.
What Decision-Makers Actually Notice
Forget the vague feedback. Here’s what actually influences whether decision-makers see you as ready for leadership:
1. You Speak Like You Have Authority (Even When You Don’t)
Decision-makers notice whether you:
State positions clearly without hedging: Not: “I’m not sure if this is right, but I think maybe we could consider…” Instead: “Based on the data, we should prioritize X. Here’s why.”
Make declarative statements about your expertise: Not: “I might be able to help with that…” Instead: “That’s my area of expertise. Here’s my recommendation.”
Own your decisions and positions: Not: “The team felt like this was the right approach…” Instead: “I decided to take this approach because…”
This isn’t about being arrogant. It’s about communicating with conviction when you have expertise or data to support your position.
2. You Speak About the Business, Not Just Your Function
Decision-makers notice whether you:
Connect your work to business outcomes: Not: “I improved the reporting process.” Instead: “The new reporting process reduced decision-making time by 30%, allowing leadership to respond to market changes faster.”
Understand how different parts of the organization work together: Not: “That’s not my department.” Instead: “Here’s how this connects to what sales is doing and why it matters for our Q3 goals.”
Think beyond your immediate scope: Not: “My job is to execute the strategy.” Instead: “I have concerns about how this strategy will play out in the market. Here’s what I’m seeing.”
Leaders think about the whole business. Individual contributors think about their piece.
3. You Manage Conflict Directly
Decision-makers notice whether you:
Address problems head-on instead of avoiding them: Not: Letting issues fester because you don’t want to create conflict. Instead: “We need to talk about the project delays. Here’s what’s happening and what needs to change.”
Give direct feedback without over-softening: Not: “Overall everything was great, just maybe one tiny thing we could potentially think about…” Instead: “This needs revision before we present it. Specifically, the analysis lacks supporting data and the recommendations aren’t actionable.”
Disagree professionally when you disagree: Not: Staying silent when you think a decision is wrong. Instead: “I see it differently. Here’s my concern with this approach and what I’d recommend instead.”
Leaders are expected to handle difficult conversations. Avoiding conflict signals you’re not ready for leadership responsibility.
4. You Focus on Solutions, Not Just Problems
Decision-makers notice whether you:
Bring solutions when you identify problems: Not: “This isn’t working and I don’t know what to do about it.” Instead: “This isn’t working. I’ve identified three options with trade-offs for each. Here’s what I recommend.”
Take ownership of moving things forward: Not: “Someone should probably look into this.” Instead: “I’m going to investigate this and present recommendations by Friday.”
Make decisions within your scope: Not: Escalating every decision upward. Instead: Making decisions you’re positioned to make and escalating only what requires senior input.
Complaining about problems is easy. Solving them is leadership.
5. You Prioritize Ruthlessly
Decision-makers notice whether you:
Say no to low-value work: Not: Saying yes to everything and being perpetually overwhelmed. Instead: “I can’t take that on right now. I’m focused on [high-impact priority]. If this is more important, we need to deprioritize that work.”
Articulate what matters most: Not: Treating all work as equally important. Instead: “The three things that will make the biggest difference in Q4 are X, Y, and Z. Everything else is secondary.”
Manage your time like it’s valuable: Not: Being available for any meeting anyone schedules. Instead: Declining meetings where you add no value and protecting time for strategic work.
Leaders must prioritize. If you can’t do it for your own work, you can’t do it for a team.
6. You Operate Two Levels Up
Decision-makers notice whether you:
Think about challenges your boss faces: Not: Only focused on completing your assigned tasks. Instead: Understanding what your manager is trying to achieve and positioning your work to support those goals.
Anticipate what leadership will ask about: Not: Waiting for questions and scrambling to answer. Instead: Proactively providing information you know they’ll need.
Speak the language of the executive team: Not: Talking in tactical details and functional jargon. Instead: Speaking in terms of business impact, strategic priorities, and outcomes.
When you operate at the level above your current role, you signal you’re ready for that level.
7. You Make Other People Better
Decision-makers notice whether you:
Develop others, not just deliver yourself: Not: Being the hero who does all the important work. Instead: Building capability in others so the team can deliver without you.
Give credit generously: Not: Positioning yourself as solely responsible for successes. Instead: Highlighting others’ contributions publicly while taking responsibility privately for failures.
Help people navigate the organization: Not: Hoarding information and relationships. Instead: Making introductions, sharing context, helping others understand how to get things done.
Individual contributors focus on personal contribution. Leaders focus on multiplying impact through others.
8. You Read the Room
Decision-makers notice whether you:
Adjust communication style based on audience: Not: Presenting the same way to executives as you do to peers. Instead: Giving executives high-level summary with key decisions needed, giving peers detailed context.
Pick up on political dynamics: Not: Being oblivious to how decisions actually get made. Instead: Understanding who the real decision-makers are, what they care about, and how to position ideas accordingly.
Know when to push and when to yield: Not: Fighting every battle or never fighting any. Instead: Choosing strategically where to spend political capital.
This isn’t about being manipulative. It’s about understanding organizational dynamics and working effectively within them.
The Gender and Diversity Factor
Here’s where “executive presence” becomes especially problematic: behaviors that signal leadership in men are often perceived differently in women and people of color.
Confident communication: Men are seen as authoritative. Women are often seen as aggressive.
Direct feedback: Men are decisive leaders. Women are too harsh.
Taking up space: Men are commanding presence. Women are too much.
Disagreeing publicly: Men are strong advocates for their position. Women are difficult.
This is the double bind: you’re told you lack executive presence, but when you demonstrate the behaviors associated with leadership, you face backlash for them.
The strategy:
You can’t completely avoid this bias, but you can be strategic about it:
Choose your moments: Be direct and assertive on high-impact topics where your expertise is clear. You’ll still face some backlash, but the value you create will outweigh it.
Build credibility first: Establish expertise and deliver results before being more assertive. It’s easier to be direct when you’ve already proven competence.
Find sponsors who get it: Align yourself with leaders who recognize and reward competence regardless of how it’s packaged.
Document everything: When you’re told you lack executive presence but you’re demonstrating the same behaviors as promoted peers, document it. This protects you and creates evidence of bias if needed.
What to Do When You Get the “Executive Presence” Feedback
When someone tells you you lack executive presence, don’t accept the vague feedback. Get specific.
Ask these questions:
“Can you give me specific examples of situations where I didn’t demonstrate executive presence?”
“What would I have said or done differently in those situations that would have demonstrated executive presence?”
“Who on the team demonstrates strong executive presence? What specifically do they do that I should model?”
“What are the three most important behaviors I should focus on to develop this?”
Force them to be specific. Vague feedback like “you need more gravitas” or “you need to command the room” is useless. Push for concrete, actionable examples.
If they can’t provide specifics, that’s information. The feedback might be more about their biases than your actual performance.
How to Actually Develop What Matters
Forget about “developing executive presence.” Focus on developing these specific capabilities:
This month:
- Track how often you use hedging language (“I think,” “maybe,” “just”). Eliminate it when stating expertise.
- In your next presentation, connect your work to business outcomes explicitly.
- Have one difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding.
This quarter:
- Bring solutions with every problem you identify. Make proposing solutions a default habit.
- Say no to at least three low-value requests to protect time for high-impact work.
- Start one conversation about a challenge your boss is facing and how you can help.
This year:
- Volunteer to present to senior leadership at least quarterly. Get comfortable speaking at higher levels.
- Build a reputation for specific expertise. Become the person others consult on particular topics.
- Develop one other person on your team to the point where they can do significant work without your involvement.
These are concrete, measurable actions. Not “be more confident” or “develop gravitas”—actual skills you can develop.
The Real Executive Presence
Here’s what actual executive presence looks like:
You walk into a meeting and people believe:
- You understand the business context
- You’ve thought through implications of decisions
- You can handle complexity and ambiguity
- You’ll tell them the truth even when it’s uncomfortable
- You’ll follow through on what you commit to
- You’re thinking about outcomes, not just activities
You don’t need to be:
- The loudest voice
- The most charismatic speaker
- The person who looks most like existing leaders
- Extroverted or commanding attention constantly
You do need to:
- Speak with conviction when you have expertise
- Think beyond your immediate function
- Address problems directly
- Bring solutions
- Make hard decisions
- Develop others
- Understand organizational dynamics
That’s executive presence. Everything else is performance.
When “Lack of Executive Presence” Is Code for Bias
Sometimes, “you lack executive presence” is legitimate feedback about real gaps.
Sometimes, it’s code for “you don’t look/sound like what I expect a leader to look/sound like.”
Signs it might be bias:
- You demonstrate the same behaviors as promoted peers but get different feedback
- The feedback is vague and the person can’t provide specific examples
- You’re given conflicting feedback (“be more assertive” then “you’re too aggressive”)
- The feedback focuses on style over substance
- You’re the only person of your demographic getting this feedback
What to do:
Document everything. Track your behaviors, results, and feedback. If there’s a pattern of bias, you need evidence.
Find sponsors outside your immediate chain of command who can advocate for you.
Consider whether this organization will actually promote you or if they’re using subjective criteria to maintain the status quo.
Sometimes the answer is to leave for an organization that values your leadership style.
The Truth About Getting Promoted
Executive presence—real or perceived—is only one factor in promotion decisions.
You also need:
- Results that matter to the business
- Visibility with decision-makers
- Political capital and relationships
- Timing and available opportunities
- Sponsors willing to advocate for you
Developing actual leadership capabilities matters. But don’t fall into the trap of endlessly “working on executive presence” while others with less capability get promoted because they look or sound the part.
Focus on the concrete skills that create impact. Build relationships with decision-makers. Deliver results that matter. Make your value visible.
And if you’re consistently told you lack something vague and unmeasurable while delivering results, consider whether the problem is you or the organization’s bias.
Have you ever been told you lack executive presence? What was the feedback—and was it specific enough to act on?
